Thursday, 31 August 2017

Fuck Anxiety

Anxiety then and now

Sitting on the floor down a school corridor not understanding what it was about that lesson that pushed me out the door crying, shaking, hyperventilating. Feeling physically sick until I got out of bed for the third time to go and check that the taps were turned off. Cancelling plans with friends again because I didn't want to leave the house. Going to pick up the phone my heart beating too quickly my hands feeling so weak like I couldn't even pick it up let alone talk. Being too scared to walk first into a room filled with people. Having difficult conversations shaking, feeling like I couldn't breathe, just wishing I never said anything at all. Overthinking absolutely everything

Trying to explain how you're feeling to be greeted with such a lack of understanding and a stiff upper lip. Taking yourself to a doctor who can tell you about cave man times and explain you are flighting not fighting but just being sent off with a "come back if the anxiety gets worse". Having a name for it didn't make it any easier.

Finding someone on the internet who has anxiety too but knowing that I'm not the only one doesn't stop the embarrassment or doesn't stop being labelled an attention seeker. Left sitting in a medical room at school being reminded to breathe when in my head I'm absolutely fine.  

Relief comes when you find those people who know you don't want a sip of water or a bag in your face but who are just there by your side.

 Maybe it's a bit of my mother in me but I had enough, not sad but angry.

Not feeling sorry anymore but feeling pathetic.

I can't put my finger on when it changed for me but any time I felt that little part of me feeling anxious I intentionally made myself do whatever it was that I didn't want to do. Faking it till I made it became my goal.

Walking with confidence, being the first to the phone at work, getting up and doing every presentation I could, saying everything I wanted to say, walking into every restaurant first.

I can't convince myself all the time and don't get me wrong I have lots of wobbles but it feels alright to let it out now, I can have panic attacks but know that at the end it will be ok.

 I have a boyfriend who understands me and knows not to go even when I push him away. Friends who read me better then I do. I'm now in my second year of university renting my first house, still faking it but definitely making it. I have learnt that my anxiety is a part of me and I wouldn't be without it because it makes me work harder everyday.

"Anxiety I will transform you into something useful and productive, I will not bow down to you" Jaeda Dewalt

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Urban Decay Naked Heat Palette | Review | Evening and Day Time Looks | Easy, Achievable, Realistic Eye Makeup

I am a huge fan of the Urban Decay Naked Palettes I own all of them but I have to admit the Naked Heat has changed the game for me. With autumn coming up I was desperate for some warm, orange, red and purple shades that I had always felt were missing from the other Naked palettes UNTIL NOW.

My lovely boyfriend treated my to this palette, after a lot of checking on when it was back in stock, and I haven't worn anything else since!

I wear this palette for a range of looks and thought for this post I would share both an evening and a day time look.


1 Ounce is a gorgeous highlighting shade which is what I wear on my brow bone and the inside of my eye.

2 Chaser is the lovely soft beige shade I put across my lid.

3 Sauced is blended out with Chaser and applied in the crease.

4 He Devil is the beautiful deep orange/red shade I blended with Sauced on the outer corner of my eye.

5 Ashes is a lovely purple shade that I used under my eye and to darken around the crease slightly.


For the evening look I used very similar shades with Ounce on the inside corner and brow bone.
6 Dirty Talk is a gorgeous shimmer shade which I think are perfect for evening looks. I put this across my lid.
I then used He Devil on the crease again.
Once I applied the eye liner I then built up the flick with Ashes. 

Tuesday, 29 August 2017

New House | Home Sense Haul

I am just about to move into my new house and I have been slowly building up a collection of new things. I am planning to write a series of hauls on the bits and bobs I have picked up. This post starts with Home Sense. 

This was my first ever trip to a Home Sense as there has never been one near where I have been living before. I walked in and instantly fell in love with just about everything!! I was a little hesitant as I am not a Tk maxx fan at all, and they are owned by the same company, but I was pleasantly surprised. 

I am so excited to show you a few of the gorgeous things I picked up.

The first is the metal storage box. This could be used for so many different things but it just suited my kitchen and by storing some bowls and mugs in it I have gained space in the cupboards! - £4.99

This lovely little yellow candle has a gorgeous wooden lid with a sweet pattern on. I am obsessed with yellow at the moment and for just £2.99 I couldn't resist. 

The second I saw grey, pink, marble triangles and a wooden lid I was buying it no matter what! It was just lucky for me this container is perfect for tea bags, sugar, biscuits or whatever it may be. - £4.99

They had such a great range of little terrariums and for £4.99 I had to have this little square one,  I have definitely been caught up in the succulent trend!!

I recently bought a new vase for my room, which will be featured in a room tour post coming soon, so I was on the look out for some artificial flowers. They didn't have a huge range but for £1.99 I was happy with two of these pretty pink ones. 

Thank you for reading,

Chlo xx

Monday, 28 August 2017

Lindos, Greece | The Perfect Holiday | How We Booked Our Holiday

Me and my boyfriend Jack were so lucky to spend a week in Lindos this summer and there is something magical about that place that you can only truly experience the second you arrive there. 

Lindos is a town on the greek island of Rhodes. We stayed in a lovely little apartment actually in Lindos but even if you are staying somewhere else in Rhodes Lindos is the perfect day trip. Whether you are there for a look around the gorgeous little shops, choosing one restaurant from such a great selection or a day on any one of the incredible beaches you won't be disappointed.  

This was our first holiday abroad as a couple and the process of booking a holiday was slightly daunting, it all couldn't have been made easier once we found the travel agents Exclusively Lindos. A live chat appears on their website as soon as you are on it and all I had to do was say what we were looking for at what price and when.  I was sent a choice of three different places to have a look at with more available if I wasn't pleased. I think it was the first one she sent over that I just fell in love with. All  I had to send was "book it" and it was done they also booked our flights and transfers to and from the airport. It couldn't have been made any easier. When we arrived at Lindos a member of the team were there to meet us and walk us to our apartment as our bags were taken there for us! If you are planning a holiday to Lindos I would highly recommend booking it this way! 

If you have any holiday destination recommendations please leave them below!! 

Chlo xx